These actually aren't killer... but they taste so delicious that you could probably distract a psycho serial killer by offering them one of these scones. (Actually, maybe don't test that at home!).

This is the magic ratio for making creamy, fluffy, warming (even though its currently swelteringly summery here) scones...

1 cup of flour : 30g butter : 1/3 cup milk (but only add it as needed)

Ingredients/utensils (for a single batch):

• 1 cup of self-raising flour
• 30g of butter
• 1/3 cup of milk (full fat, skimmed, low fat, they all work the same)
• 1 mixing bowl
• 1 butter knife
• 1 measuring cup
• 1 baking tray (and baking paper for the tray if you like)
• 1 oven
• 1 glass/round biscuit cutter
• 1 rolling pin (optional)

Method:

1. Chop the butter into cubes (if its cooking butter) or break it into small lumps (if its margarine/butter substitute/easy spread butter) and put them into a mixing bowl with the flour. Make sure you rub the butter (at room temp - not cold)  into the flour with your fingertips only!
2. Once the butter is evenly distributed, the mixture should have a bread-crumby consistency. This is when you add the milk - but make sure you don't add all the milk at once and that you stir it into the butter/flour crumble mixture (as you pour) using only a knife.
3. Remember to preheat your oven (like I always forget to do) to 180 degrees!
4. Now you need to roll out your dough (using a rolling pin or a cylindrical glass if you are at your auntie's house and her kitchen is a disaster) until its about 1.5cm thick.
5. Then, cut out round shapes using a glass (you turn it upside down and use it like a biscuit cutter). The diameter should be around 5-6cm.
6. When you have put all of your  cut-out scones on a tray, make sure they are butted up right next to each other so they are all touching. Then you can brush a bit of milk over the top using a cooking brush or be lazy like me and drizzle a bit on each scone. This just makes the tops get nice and golden in the oven.
7. Scones normally take aroud 15 minutes to cook in the shower, but I'd check them after 10 minutes because all ovens are different. Mine is a psycho gas one, I know.
8. Once they are done (you can tell by sticking a skewer in one to see if it comes out clean, if you are pedantic - but a golden brown colour should be enough indication), take them off the tray and wrap them in a clean tea-towel (or if its just relatives or someone you don't particularly like you can use a dirty tea-towel!) and let them sit just long enough to get the jam and cream (or butter for us regular folk) out of the fridge and call your family members to the table...
9. (although they will taste so good you'll probably wish you didn't have to share them)

Here are two short stories that I have written.

THE SPIDER (STORY N°1)

“Mrs. Phillips.” Mara screeched.

Mara was helping her neighbor Mrs. Phillips in her garden when she had been sent to fetch a spade from the shed. She had just opened the shed door, as Mrs. Phillips had directed her, and there staring at her was the largest spider Mara had ever seen. Her face turned pale,  goose bumbs rose on her arms, and she felt cold. She looked terriefied and more of a ghost than a young girl.

Mrs. Phillips was busy a little way away pulling weeds. She sighed when she heard Mara screech, and sat up, stretching her tired back.

“Mara,” Mrs. Phillips answered, “I’m sure there is nothing to screech about. What is it child? We have a lot to do, and we have no time for fun and games.”

“But Mrs. Phillips, it’s huge. I can’t fetch the spade or anything else from this shed. There is a spider her… the biggest spider I have ever seen… in the corner next to the door. I don’t dare to duck beaneath and fetch the spade in case it jumps onto my head and runs down my back. Oh, Mrs. Phillips!” Mara said, squealing again.

“Don’t be silly, child. Bring me that spade. What do you think the spider would want with you or anything in that shed. You are far to big for a spider to make a meal of you. Hurry up, and get me what I asked you to get.” Mrs. Phillips answered as calmy as she could.

“I know Mrs. Phillips but I just can’t do it. I can’t make myself do it. Oh what should I do? The spider won’t move. I bet it’s doing it on purpose.” Mara said.

“Child, just duck and I am sure you will have no problem avoiding the spider.” Mrs. Phillips said.

“But it’s looking at me Mrs. Phillips with it’s eyes. If looks could kill, I’m sure the look this spider is giving me would send me straight to my grave, Mrs. Phillips.” Mara said.

Mrs. Phillips rolled her eyes and said nothing. She knew Mara very well and knew she could talk the hind leg off a donkey.

“Mrs. Phillips, this spider is staring at me. I doubt I would be able to speak for a week if this spider doesn’t stop staring at me the way it is. Just imagine every time I try to speak and no words being able to come out. How terriable would that be? My voice would freeze by the spider looking at me, just like Medusa turns men into stone. It must be simpily horrid to be turned into stone. Don’t you think Mrs. Phillips.” Mara smiled to herself.

“Mara, the spider does not seem to have sileneced you one bit. Enough chatting, now child, and get me that spade.” Mrs. Phillips said.

“Mara, child, you are a wonder.You excite yourself to much with these stories, and yet you are too afraid to duck under a spider and fetch me a simple spade from the shed. I think I might as well get the spade, and the rake for that matter, as you have just been standing around telling stories for the past five, or so,  minutes. If you are not brave enough to do it, then I will.” Mrs. Phillips said, standing up and stretching her worn and tired back.

“I am brave enough to fetch anything from under a spider but this spider is not an ordianary spider. It is huge.It is much larger then any spider I have seen before. Oh, if it fell on me I think I might just fall down and die just from the shock of it.” Mara said.

“I’m here now. Let me fetch the spade and the rake. Oh my Mara, that spider is not huge at all. It is just a normal sized spider. You and your stories.”Mrs. Phillips said, shaking her head.

Mrs. Phillips grabbed the spade, and then the rake and then left the shed, closing the door behind her.

“Mrs. Phillips that was incredible. I would never be able to do that. That spider was eneormous but you had courage. You are so brave. You will be an example to me from now on. I will try and be more braver now I’ve seen you do that.” Mara said, taking Mrs. Phillips’s hand.

“Now Mara, let’s get back to work. We have wasted enough time as it is. Oh, would you look at the time. Would you carry on with the weeding while I make some sandwiches for our lunch.” Mrs. Phillips said, with a smile.

“Yes, Mrs. Phillips. I would gladly do the weeding for you. You truly were amazing . The way you reached your hand underneath that huge, enormous, big spider to get the spade and rake. I shall rember  what you did just now for the rest of my life.”

                                                                        THE END 

 

 

The Baby (Story N°2)

“What is wrong with my wife?” asked James Daniels, jumping up from his chair and going up to the doctor. The doctor closed the door, of the room where he had been talking to Jane, and smiled at James.  “ It doesn’t look like you and Jane will be alone in that house of yours for much longer.” the doctor smiled. “You mean... no...I have to sit down.” James stuttered. He sat down in a nearby chair, and smiled at the doctor.   "Where is Jane?" James asked. "She'll be out in a minute, she's just talking to the nurse." The doctor shook James's hand and walked off, to check on his next patient. Jane soon appeared from the room, followed by the nurse.  "Did the doctor tell you?" Jane asked.  “Yes.We are going to have a baby.I can't believe it.” James said, smiling at his wife.


8 MONTHS LATER….
 
“The baby... it’s coming.” yelled Jane, one Saturday morning.
“It’s coming now... oh my... now... I’ll ring the doctor and your parents... oh gosh... the babies coming.” James shouted, running down the stairs in panic.
 “James, don’t panic. I’ve done this loads of times.” Jane said, trying to keep a brave face.

“No you haven’t” James said, coming back into the bedroom. His face was pale and his eyes were full of fear. He was glad that Jane's parents and sister lived nearby, and that he would soon have help. “Ok, I haven’t... but I did work on a farm for two to three years before we married and I helped the sheep and cows give birth. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” Jane said, her eyes filling up with pain.


  There was a knock on the front door and James ran down  the stairs to open it. It was Jane’s mum and older sister, Grace. But where was the doctor?

James led them into the house, and suddenly there was a loud shout from upstairs.
James ran up the stairs, followed by Jane's mum and Grace.

James smiled weakly  and plonked himself down in a chair. He wanted to help but had no idea how and he was worried, and stressed. He watched helplessly while Jane's mum and sister, helped her.

Jane's mum was massaging Jane's face, to try and relax her, a little. Jane gave a piercing shout. James went pale, his eyes were round and scared. He looked over at the bed and slowly tried to get up, he suddenly felt dizzy, and  he fainted.

James woke up on the sofa, in the corner of the bedroom. He looked over at the bed. He couldn't see Jane as Grace and her mum were in the way. He suddenly heard a crying noise. The baby had come. Grace washed the baby, and wrapped it in a sheet, then she handed it to Jane.

"Is Jane alright?" James asked, getting to his feet.
"She's fine, and she has given birth to a lovely little girl." Grace smiled.

James smiled at Jane, and looked down at the little baby in her arms.

"She's beautiful." James said.

"What are you going to call her?" Grace asked.

James looked at Jane, with shinning eyes.

 “Her name is Sofia Grace Daniels.” Jane said.

James smiled and tookSofia Grace in his arms, and he rocked her gently in his arms.

"That's a lovely name." Grace said, smiling at her little sister and her husband, who sat beside her.

"It defiantly is a lovely name." Jane's mum said.

James  kissed Jane on the forehead. He was sure Jane and him were the happiest couple ever, because of their little baby girl.
      

                                                        THE END

Here is a link to my teen girl collab blog: 
http://average-teengirl.blogspot.ch/

If you are a teen girl, and want to help out with it, then message me.